Saturday, August 19, 2017

The Solar Eclipse and Sasquatch.

Scientists Shivering Over Sasquatch Reactions to Solar Eclipse. Bigfoot Research Opportunity of a Lifetime!

Crypto-zoological 'scientists' at the prestigious YETI not SETI Institute are overly excited about observing the behavior of feral bigfoots caught in the upcoming solar eclipse. The public is advised to avoid Sasquatches encountered during this time. They may be irritable, confused, disoriented, and try to steal your special fake eclipse™ sunglasses.

Bigfoot plus Solar Eclipses equals Lunacy?
"We've never been able to observe Sasquatch solar activity during a total eclipse of the sun. This is a first!" said a senior DNA research fellow specializing in Sasquatch precious bodily fluid analysis. "Well to be honest, we've never been able to observe actual  real bonafide Sasquatch activity ever. But we're hopeful!"

"We suspect the total eclipse will freak out impressionable Bigfoots hiding in the bush, causing them to go temporarily mad with fright and seek shelter in hamburger-joint garbage dumpsters along the entire track of the eclipse. Rancid french fries are comfort food for the beasts. Our field staff of naive graduate students are stationed inside McDonalds, Burger King and Jack-in-the-Box dumpsters along the entire eclipse track, from Oregon to South Carolina. They are brave and dedicated employees. Suckers!"

Bigfoot connections with planetary bodies beyond Earth have been uncovered before:

Bigfoot Creature Found on Mars!
Shock Rover Image - - Bigfoot Living on Mars...
Vandalizes Martian Rover...  Massive NASA Cover-up Exposed!