YETI Not SETI Institute releases doctored photographs of key Bored Board of Director Members

Denies action is part of a Federal plea bargain deal. 

As part of the Institute's cease-and-desist gentlemen's agreement with the IRS and the FBI, the Bored of Directors have graciously allowed their photographs to be shared with the public. 

Dr. Karl Blinng, Glorious Leader and Director-For-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute:

Seriously, this guy is demented. He has invested his entire professional career and multiple fortunes in trying to find viable, slimy, Bigfoot DNA samples across the world. Someone needs to stop this madness! Blinng has a Ph.D. in Cryptozoology, and in his case it is indeed piled higher and deeper. Dr. Blinng has never actually seen a Bigfoot. Blinng has fruitlessly searched for Sasquatch in North America, Asia, and Europe. Sincerely, Recently Fired Employee who kept his Institute website password. (Editor's Note: This passage is flagged for objectionable content, and is under review. We welcome any breathing  applicant for this position, any! )

Ricard Scheister, Esq, Legal Advisor and 24-hour Bail Bondsman for the YETI NOT SETI Institute: 

Ricard Scheister is an acknowledged heavy-weight in the crypto-zoological legal profession. Very heavy-weight. He knows where all the Sasquatch bodies are buried, and is semi-adept at protecting the Institute from itself. While suspected of having Sasquatch genes in his DNA, Ricard has refused to have himself tested by BigfootAncestry.com. Scheister has actually seen a Bigfoot, though this was in his high school years and it was all a bit hazy. 

Erk Holohead, Suspicious Solicitations, Investments, and Propaganda Director:

Erk Holohead uses creative financing to keep the Institute loaded with Other People's Money. He is well known by the SEC for reasons Ricard Scheister is paid to 'handle'. Erk supports the Institute's Widow and Orphan Fund. This doesn't involve giving actual money to Widows and Orphans. No, that would be dumb. Erk runs a slick sentimental campaign to fool, nay encourage, Widows and Orphans to donate funds to help Dr. Blinng live the lavish lifestyle... live the dream of capturing real Bigfoot DNA. He suspects his history teacher in middle school was an overweight Bigfoot. Erk has fruitlessly tracked Sasquatches in North America, South America, Central America, Asia, and Europe. Nada.

Brucillus Hail, South Florida Crypto-Cat-Stomp-Murder Research Specialist:

Brucillus Hail witnessed an actual cat-stomping Big Foot attack in the Florida Keys. Ever since this CATastrophic incident, he has been keenly focused on finding the particular Bigfoot which did the dirty deed, which is a challenge as it's relatively easy for a Sasquatch to blend in with the local population. Brucillus reports back to the Institute whenever he encounters strangely South Florida feline Sasquatch sightings. Learn more about Brucillus's harrowing cat crunch adventure, viewer discretion advised.

Divot Looney, Newest Chump in our Pyramid Scheme,  Proud New Member of the Bored of Directors:

We kept this older photo as we just like the look of sheer surprise and terror on Divot's face. His role as Bigfoot Bashing Bait is going very well.

The Institute is happy to announce the formal induction of Divot Looney into the Bored of Directors. While a bit nervous about the Secret Initiation Ritual, he eventually came around. Looney's expertise in Sasquatchology centers mainly on the fact that he is often the victim of Bigfoot attacks. It's almost as if these Bigfoots are targeting Divot, or he has been duped into being used as Sasquatch bait! This singular fact alone qualifies him as a member. When one considers his ample supply of unmarked $10,000 Venezuelan Bolivares bills, from which the Institute is now liberating funds to help keep Institute personnel in the lifestyle to which they are accustomed, it all makes sense. 

The YETI NOT SETI Institute has proudly enjoyed stagnant, stable, stale, and incompetent Bored of Director membership for years. There have been some exceptions:

Bored of Director Shake-up for the YETI NOT SETI Institute

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