Montreal Bigfoot Expedition Discovers Mysterious Historic Artifact!

Barging Bigfoot Rewrites Quebec History!? Bungling Montreal Bigfoot Hiding in Bronze!? Ou alors, on ne sait absolument pas de quoi on parle ? 

The Canadian province of Quebec is in more turmoil than usual from a spat of Sasquatch related news stories which have caused shock along with gigantic waves of gallic indifference.

Newly Discovered Painting Rewrites Frenchy History in Quebec!

A painting discovered at a random garage sale in Martinez California by Dr. Karl Blinng clearly shows a Bigfoot present in the French Army during the first battle of Quebec on the Plains of Abraham in 1759. Is this why they lost the battle, again? Major-General Louis Joseph de Saint Véran, Marquis de Montcalm, is shown dying during the battle with the "Les Rosbifs". The French Sasquatch is gathered with other dramatic and concerned army staff. The soldier closing his eyes on the left is highly either shocked by the sight of Bigfoot, or Montcalm's impending death, or nasty visions of 1763, 1812, 1871, 1940, etc. etc. etc. Vive la France!

Montreal Monkey Sculpture Modified Overnight! 

The Citizens of Montreal are Shocked, Shocked, we say. Somehow, a mysterious third simian figure was added overnight to the famous La réflexion du chimpanzé lire des éditoriaux absurdes edifice, erected in Montreal in 2021. Karl Blinng was in the Montreal during the recent panic and alarm raised over the unexplainable change in the statues. "It's hard to spot, it takes a world class expert like myself to see it.", pontificated Dr. Blinng, "The addition of what appears to be a Sasquatch is very mysterious. No one knows how the beast was added. However the fact that flies are attracted to it may indicate the so-called 'bronze bigfoot' is actually a real Sasquatch hiding from the police. These ape-beasts like leftover rancid poutine found in trash bins."