Institute Announces New BORED of DIRECTOR - Looney Tunes

New Bored of Director Admitted. Bribery Sufficient to Proceed.  

Divot Looney has become the 5th acting Bored of Director at the prestigious YETI NOT SETI Institute. A photo will be provided once his recent plastic surgery (to evade several enthusiastic bill collectors) is healed and a full beard is in place. 

Erk Holohead confirms that since Divot's second check to the Institute for membership didn't bounce, the vote was 4-0 to admit him. "Hey, money talks. To be honest, we all thought he was a bit, well, looney. But he seemed to get along well with the Bored and he provides free beer and pizza. He may have the skills we always need to hood-wink, er, convince large donors of our just and noble research efforts. 

Government funded crypto research funds diverted invested to boost the morale of the Institute employees are always welcome. Essentially, Dr. Blinng's wine cellar at the Institute is running low on Sparkling Wine and Extra Spicy Fritos.... he needs replenishment. All for the good of Science and Cryptozoological Research." 

Alleged Photo of Divot Looney, a true Sasquatch Believer!

To see the entire rogue's gallery of Bored of Director members, visit YETI Not SETI Institute releases doctored photographs of key Bored Board of Director Members.

Bigfoot Research at the YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE

Our Intrepid YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE Members Work Day and Night Researching Sasquatch, Cryptozoology, and Cryptocurrencies. 

The staff of the Institute work day and night investigating reports of Sasquatch sightings across the world. The team will respond in a moment's notice eagerly visiting the exotic and remote locations of recent Bigfoot reports. The Institute does have a strict travel policy in place. Travel is allowed as long as there is indoor plumbing, with close proximity to a 4-Star resort with a fully stocked bar. These conditions are required for the team to conduct serious research into each hairy incident. 

Erk Holohead, one of the Institute's Bored of Directors, is often engaged in intense research of Bigfoot Sightings. Along with the other members, Erk also investigates new and novel ways to solicit badly needed contributions in order to keep the good work of the Institute going - - without incurring the unwanted attention of the SEC or FBI. 

While the Institute hasn't actually yet captured a live Bigfoot, nor retrieved a body, nor acquired a DNA sample, we are laser focused on finding an elusive Bigfoot - dead or alive. Alive is better, as we foresee the potential for millions in royalties once the beast hits the talk-show circuit. 

The YETI NOT SETI Institute has a mission of seeking proof that Sasquatch creatures exist and are living next door to you. Our research and exploration efforts have no limits as long as the Institute is amply funded by not-widows and not-orphans... pesky SEC compliance, darn it! To see the entire gang, er bored of directors, please visit: YETI Not SETI Institute releases doctored photographs of key Bored Board of Director Members.

YETI Not SETI Institute releases doctored photographs of key Bored Board of Director Members

Denies action is part of a Federal plea bargain deal. 

As part of the Institute's cease-and-desist gentlemen's agreement with the IRS and the FBI, the Bored of Directors have graciously allowed their photographs to be shared with the public. 

Dr. Karl Blinng, Glorious Leader and Director-For-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute:

Seriously, this guy is delusional. He has invested his entire professional career and multiple fortunes in trying to find viable, slimy, Bigfoot DNA samples across the world. Someone needs to stop this madness! Blinng has a Ph.D. in Cryptozoology, and in his case it is indeed piled higher and deeper. Dr. Blinng has never actually seen a Bigfoot. Blinng has fruitlessly searched for Sasquatch in North America, Asia, and Europe. A California aggie, Blinng followed his passion for Crypto-medicine to become a caring, kind, and compassionate doctor to his community. Ha! Ha! Just joking! His nickname in the office is "Dr. Demented-Evil!". Sincerely, Recently Fired Employee who kept his Institute website password. (Editor's Note: This passage is flagged for objectionable content, and is under review. We welcome any breathing  applicant for this position, any! )

Ricard Scheister, Esq, Legal Advisor and 24-hour Bail Bondsman for the YETI NOT SETI Institute: 

Ricard Scheister is an acknowledged heavy-weight in the crypto-zoological legal profession. Very heavy-weight. He knows where all the Sasquatch bodies are buried, and is semi-adept at protecting the Institute from itself. While suspected of having Sasquatch genes in his DNA, Ricard has refused to have himself tested by BigfootAncestry.com. Scheister has actually seen a Bigfoot, though this was in his high school years and it was all a bit hazy. A graduate of a major law school in the Northeast, Scheister specializes in crypto-creature legal matters. "If there's any money in it, I'm in. Sue 'em!"

Erk Holohead, Suspicious Solicitations, Investments, and Propaganda Director:

Erk Holohead uses creative financing to keep the Institute loaded with Other People's Money. He is well known by the SEC for reasons Ricard Scheister is paid to 'handle'. Erk supports the Institute's Widow and Orphan Fund. This doesn't involve giving actual money to Widows and Orphans. No, that would be dumb. Erk runs a slick sentimental campaign to fool, nay encourage, Widows and Orphans to donate funds to help Dr. Blinng live the lavish lifestyle... live the dream of capturing real Bigfoot DNA. He suspects his history teacher in middle school was an overweight Bigfoot. Erk appropriately graduated with a BS crypto-business degree. Specializing in undergrad and graduate get-rich-quick schemes for unethical sales and misleading marketing and web-marketing skills, Erk used his business travels to fruitlessly track down elusive Sasquatches in North and South America, Asia, and Europe. Nada.

Divot Looney, Newest Chump in our Pyramid Scheme,  Proud New Member of the Bored of Directors:

We kept this older photo as we just like the look of sheer surprise and terror on Divot's face. His role as Bigfoot Bashing Bait is going very well.

The Institute is happy to announce the formal induction of Divot Looney into the Bored of Directors. While a bit nervous about the Secret Initiation Ritual, he eventually came around. Looney's expertise in Sasquatchology centers mainly on the fact that he is often the victim of Bigfoot attacks. It's almost as if these Bigfoots are targeting Divot, or he has been duped into being used as Sasquatch bait! This singular fact alone qualifies him as a member. When one considers his ample supply of unmarked $10,000 Venezuelan Bolivares bills, from which the Institute is now liberating funds to help keep Institute personnel in the lifestyle to which they are accustomed, it all makes sense.

 

Kikki Dumpster: Our Really, Really Newest Member of the Institute's Bored of Directors. First Female Board Member, perhaps its last?

Kikki Dumpster reacting with unbridled JOY at her nomination and election to the Institute's Bored of Directors.

Ms. Kikki Dumpster has the dubious "honor" of becoming our first woman bored of directors member. Her unique qualifications include an unhealthy paranoia of chem-trails, brain-wave monitoring by secret government agencies, EMP attacks from high-power voltage lines, and Bigfoots! She is convinced there was a gang of immature and obnoxious Bigfoots at her high school. The foolish school administration just laughed at her, motivating her to uncover Bigfoot activity and expose the truth. Kikki also runs ultra-marathons in the Kalahari Desert, while secretly scouting for Sasquatches and Space Aliens. Equipped with a degree in crypto-design from an Aggie college somewhere in California, Kikki is constantly writing about ancient alien encounters.

 

Dr. Lulu Lomax, Crypto-Zoological Bone Doc and Bigfoot Huntress, joins the Institute's Bored of Directors! Female Representation Doubles! 

Dr. Lulu Lomax had two major goals in her youth. One: To become an MD bone-surgeon with a side specialty in crypto-creature ortho-surgeries, de-licing treatments, and alien autopsies. Two: Discover a real Bigfoot in the wild. "The sight of blood never bothered me; red, green, whatever. The sight of Bigfoot blood is something I want to see! And Bigfoot bones, yes... Bigfoot bones!" She first encountered a feral bigfoot near the Brazos River in Texas in 2007. Along with Kelvin Kmess, Lulu ran into another Sasquatch beast in Panama in 2018. She also encountered a Bigfoot at a Florida Beach Resort in 2009. "The beasts looked disgusting and reminded me of a few of my teachers.", exclaimed Lomax. Her recent Sasquatch exploration in Montana, along with a healthy initiation fee in small unmarked bills, prompted her nomination to the bored of directors. The final vote for approval was 132-14, as one of the more elderly bored members objected to doubling the number of females on the board to two, and simultaneously allowing a Texas Aggie a seat on the bored. But when the objecting director nodded off and took a nap at the table, enthusiastic ballot stuffing and underhanded bribes commenced. In the end, the glittering allure of strengthened nepotism control overcame all objections.   

 

Kelvin Kmess, Sasquatch Videographer, Engineer and Crypto-Comic Book Enthusiast joins the Institute Board of Directors!

The Institute welcomes Kelvin Kmess as a Bored of Director member, and thanks Kelvin for his transferring a precious video sighting of a Sasquatch in the wilds of Montana to the Institute, while under duress. As part of the 'agreement', the Institute has agreed to pay Kelvin in Balboa Martinelli coins and in smuggled illicit Panamá coffee grounds. Kelvin has witnessed multiple encounters with Bigfoots. "Strange, but once I began associating with certain rather bizarre people, I began to see Bigfoots everywhere!". Equipped with a Master's Degree in Crypto-Steampunk Engineering from an isolated college station of some sort in Texas, Kelvin is able to tackle tough technological challenges associated with Bigfoot Hunting... like how to open a camera lense before taking amazing Bigfoot photos, or pushing the right button on an IPhone to begin recording a Sasqautch live, or knowing how to properly focus a camera... demanding skills which are sadly lacking in the international Sasquatch Hunter community! The final vote of approval was 132-14, as one antiquated bored member strenously objected to having two Texas Aggies on the Bored, two California Aggies, two females, and any members under the age of 187. A snifter of good brandy put him into a deep slumber, however, and the rest of the board fell into line under the watchful glare of Blinng and Holohead... especially when they noticed the Colt Detective Special on display by Holohead.

 

Brucillus Hail, South Florida Crypto-Cat-Stomp-Murder Research Specialist:

Brucillus Hail witnessed an actual cat-stomping Big Foot attack in the Florida Keys. Ever since this CATastrophic incident, he has been keenly focused on finding the particular Bigfoot which did the dirty deed, which is a challenge as it's relatively easy for a Sasquatch to blend in with the local population. Brucillus reports back to the Institute whenever he encounters strangely South Florida feline Sasquatch sightings. Learn more about Brucillus's harrowing cat crunch adventure, viewer discretion advised.

The YETI NOT SETI Institute has proudly enjoyed stagnant, stable, stale, and incompetent Bored of Director membership for years. There have been some exceptions:

Bored of Director Shake-up for the YETI NOT SETI Institute

BIGFOOT NEWS and SASQUATCH SIGHTINGS
EXCLUSIVE BREAKING BigFoot NEWS & PHOTOS!

Panamá Bigfoot Pandemonium - A History

Bigfoot Sightings in the Republic of Panamá.

The Republic of Panamá, located somewhere between Mexico City and Bogota, is known as the "Crossroads of the World", with commerce, people, and animals all taking advantage of the Isthmus between North and South America, and of course the Panama Canal. But nasty creatures have also taken advantage of this natural highway between the Americas, including Sasquatch - -  Gigantopithicus Robustus Revoltus.

In a blatant dis-service to the public and in particular to Panemonioans... Ponamemians... er Panamanians, we've extensively researched the existence of Bigfoot in Panama. As only the YETI not SETI Institute can accomplish, these news stories of Bigfoot in Panama have been confirmed and verified by notable experts in pseudo Sasquatchology. Per our common practice, we'll happily take these news items down if the Department of Tourism in Panama pays our ransom, ah, 'consulting fee'.

Bigfoot spotted on the Pacific Coast of Panama.

Recorded Sightings of Bigfoots in Panama:

• Bigfoot sightings in the Punta Pacifica, Punta Paitilla, and the Cinta Costera neighborhoods.
• Sasquatch was spotted roaming the streets of Isla Taboga.
• Jar Jar Bynx Found Dead in Panama. Star Warz Actor Murdered by Panama BigFoot? 
• Panama Jungle Bigfoot Spotted in Darién Gap!
• Panama Island Bigfoot Sighting!
• BigFoot Causes Panic in Tropical Paradise!
• Sasquatch is a Panama Party Animal...
• Sasquatch Pandemonium in Panama!
• BigFoot sighting at Avenida Balboa Park Complex in Panama City

Erk Holohead, a member of the Bored of Directors for the YETI not SETI Institute, was puzzled. "I'm puzzled, not puzzling this time! WHY do these ancient hairy beasts traverse Panama? WHY do they not leave DNA samples behind? WHY are there no sickeningly huge scat piles which we'd expect from these cunning creatures? The wiley Sasquatch is clever. Our vital research in Panama will continue as long as cerveza fria, cerviche de corvina, y patacones panameños are readily available to fuel our expeditions!"

The Solar Eclipse and Sasquatch.

Scientists Shivering Over Sasquatch Reactions to Solar Eclipse. Bigfoot Research Opportunity of a Lifetime!

Crypto-zoological 'scientists' at the prestigious YETI not SETI Institute are overly excited about observing the behavior of feral bigfoots caught in the upcoming solar eclipse. The public is advised to avoid Sasquatches encountered during this time. They may be irritable, confused, disoriented, and try to steal your special fake eclipse™ sunglasses.

Bigfoot plus Solar Eclipses equals Lunacy?

"We've never been able to observe Sasquatch solar activity during a total eclipse of the sun. This is a first!" said a senior DNA research fellow specializing in Sasquatch precious bodily fluid analysis. "Well to be honest, we've never been able to observe actual  real bonafide Sasquatch activity ever. But we're hopeful!"

"We suspect the total eclipse will freak out impressionable Bigfoots hiding in the bush, causing them to go temporarily mad with fright and seek shelter in hamburger-joint garbage dumpsters along the entire track of the eclipse. Rancid french fries are comfort food for the beasts. Our field staff of naive graduate students are stationed inside McDonalds, Burger King and Jack-in-the-Box dumpsters along the entire eclipse track, from Oregon to South Carolina. They are brave and dedicated employees. Suckers!"

Bigfoot connections with planetary bodies beyond Earth have been uncovered before:

Bigfoot Creature Found on Mars!
Shock Rover Image - - Bigfoot Living on Mars...
Vandalizes Martian Rover...  Massive NASA Cover-up Exposed!

Bored of Director Shake-up for the YETI NOT SETI Institute

Bored of Director Shake-up! Activist Investors Booted! Calm and Boringness Restored!

The YETI NOT SETI Institute announces an untimely expansion of the Institute's Bored of Directors, driven by very timely cash only contributions which finally cleared the bank:

Karl Blinng:
Ph.D., Chairman, Director, Champion, Fearless Leader. Genius. Certifiably Insane. Searching for precious Sasquatch vital bodily fluids or other sources of Bigfoot DNA.

Erk Holohead: 
Specialist in producing Institutional Self-Promoting Propaganda. Key goals are Fund Raising from bigfoot suckers, ah, sasquatch true believers (cash only please), Creative Financial Engineering to fool naive stockholders, and utilizing Essential Tax Evasion Expertise.

Ricard Schiester:
Ivy League Level Legal mis-representation, Quasi-Legal Consulting, Keeping the SEC, IRS, and DOJ off the scent, er, 'helping keep the Institute in compliance and respect recent court orders'....yeah, that's the ticket! On retainer. Charges by the micro-second. Demands payment upfront.

Brucillus Hail:
Invested in the Institute because he was promised a non-existent time-share condo in Key West. Fool! He has no idea what he is gotten himself into. He has witnessed Sasquatch cat carnage.

Divot Looney:
Suckered onto the board, er, requested to join the board. Eyewitness and victim of Bigfoot Attacks, he suspects Blinng is setting up these horrific ordeals. He watched a complete ground-breaking Sasquatch documentary and did not pass out from nausea.

Kikki Dumpster: 
The newest member of the Bored of directors and the first woman to hold this 'honor'. She is a true believer in Sasquatches, and sees one behind every tree and rock. A dedicated Ultra-Marathoner, she got her start in Sasquatchology when running away from a pack of wild Bigfoots in rugged mountains of Sacramento California. 

Krass FFFFleps:
Missing for years and doesn't pay his dues. Rumored to be running a jug wine vineyard for a Russian Oligarch in Siberia. In revenge, the Institute puts his name on any sensitive legal or financial documents which might catch the attention of Interpol or other pesky law enforcement agencies.

It has been suggested that the Bored of Directors consists of a bunch of Morons. Not at all! The Bored of Directors consists of a secret cabal of Livermorons!

About The YETI not SETI Institute.

Pokémon Go Players Warned about Bigfoot Danger!

Is that a Bigfoot on your smartphone camera? It's not a Pokémon Go creature! It's Real..... RUN AWAY!

The YETI not SETI Institute, as a public service and a blatant attempt to gain financial contributors among Millenial Mobs playing this idiotic, er inspiring real virtual reality game, wants to warn Pokémon Go players about the risk of Bigfoot sightings.

"When you see a Bigfoot on your Pokémon Go screen, don't try to capture it. These beasts will not take kindly to your attempts to grab them. Instead, these mangy Sasquatches might just decide to grab you!", said Erk Holohead, a dodgy member of the YETI not SETI bored of directors. "If you spot a Sasquatch on your smartphone, stop, drop, roll, turn, get up, and run for it! You get negative points for a Bigfoot."

This foul creature won't be found in Pokémon Go!

Ricard Schiester esq., shady lawyer by trade and yet another unpaid member of the bored of directors, had this warning; "Read the fine print on your user agreement with Pokémon Go. At no point are you protected against injuries suffered due to attempts to capture Sasquatches, Loch Ness Monsters, Evil Masterminds, Invading Space Aliens, and Fuller Brush Salesmen. You're on your own!"

Karl Blinng, Director of the Institute and on parole, was unavailable for comment. "He's out of the crypto-zoololgy lab today, playing Pokémon Go", said his underpaid PR agent. "He gets really excited when he spots a Sleeping Bulbasaur."

Video: The dangers of Bigfoot and Pokémon Go:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tACnkp4oViY