Saturday, February 14, 2015

Bigfoot is an Investment Opportunity

Big news! Serious people are seeking serious Sasquatch Stash!

The YETI not SETI Institute applauds the efforts of Mr. Carmine Biscardi and his business partners in offering an innovative stock IPO for his company Bigfoot Project Investments (BPI).

We at the Institute are highly miffed, however, that we were not invited to participate on the ground floor of this elegant Sasquatch financial project.

Potential investors can view the NASDAQ BPI overview here:

According to reliable news sources who never call us (the fools), Bigfoot Project Investments hopes to raise as much as $3 million by selling stock in BFI. The investment funds will be used to produce movies, sell DVDs, and fund expeditions dedicated to finding authentic evidence of Sasquatch, including capturing a live specimen.

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the YETI not SETI Institute, was disturbed. "I am disturbed. Thanks to that pesky court order I must honor or risk going back to the BIG HOUSE, our fund raising options are rather limited. Thanks to the SEC our historic source of funding, widows and orphans, is now off-limits, gosh-darn-it."

"We desperately need new  investment funds to produce low-resolution grainy old movies, sell patchy lo-def DVDs, and fund our excellent luxury adventures and expeditions dedicated to finding authentic evidence of Sasquatch, including capturing a live rubberized specimen.We applaud financial pioneers like BPI in their efforts to use the joys of crypto-capitalism to fund important research into Bigfootology".

Erk Holohead, chief investment officer for the YETI not SETI Institute, hinted that the Institute is looking at alternative offshore investment options which will comply with that unfortunate USA domiciled court order, and yet still meet the pressing need to fund the extremely valuable ancient hominids work the organization is engaged in. "We're talking to the Russian Oligarchs about investing in our organization. We know that Yetis are swarming all over Siberia, and some are even in positions of influence inside the Kremlin! We just need more funding to continue this important work. So while we can't fleece widows and orphans (for now), the Oligarchs are fair game. The Greeks and Cypriots have already figured this game out... we want some of the action too!"

1 comment:

  1. I want in too! How much? While I can't access any investment funds presently, I'm building quite a war-chest of contraband cigarettes I can monetize for this once in a lifetime opportunity.

    Say, this isn't one of them SCAMS, is it? If it was, I'd really be upset.

    Bernie Maydoff