Bored of Director Shake-up! Activist Investors Booted! Calm and Boringness Restored!
The YETI NOT SETI Institute announces an untimely expansion of the Institute's Bored of Directors, driven by very timely cash only contributions which finally cleared the bank:
Ph.D., Chairman, Director, Champion, Fearless Leader. Genius. Certifiably Insane. Searching for precious Sasquatch vital bodily fluids or other sources of Bigfoot DNA.
Specialist in producing Institutional Self-Promoting Propaganda. Key goals are Fund Raising from bigfoot suckers, ah, sasquatch true believers (cash only please), Creative Financial Engineering to fool naive stockholders, and utilizing Essential Tax Evasion Expertise.
Ivy League Level Legal mis-representation, Quasi-Legal Consulting, Keeping the SEC, IRS, and DOJ off the scent, er, 'helping keep the Institute in compliance and respect recent court orders'....yeah, that's the ticket! On retainer. Charges by the micro-second. Demands payment upfront.
Newest member of the Bored of Directors. Invested in the Institute because he was promised a non-existent time-share condo in Key West. Fool! He has no idea what he is gotten himself into. He has witnessed Sasquatch cat carnage.
Missing for years and doesn't pay his dues. Rumored to be running a jug wine vineyard for a Russian Oligarch in Siberia. In revenge, the Institute puts his name on any sensitive legal or financial documents which might catch the attention of Interpol or other pesky law enforcement agencies.
It has been suggested that the Bored of Directors consists of a bunch of Morons. Not at all! The Bored of Directors consists of a secret cabal of Livermorons!
About The YETI not SETI Institute.